Nothing to Fier

Never Say Never: Why Jesus Agrees with Justin Bieber

Never Say Never – Why Jesus Agrees With Justin Bieber

Bible schools are stereotyped to be places to become pastors and places to become pastors’ wives.

There’s no way around the fact. But wait, before you roll your eyes and think that I’m about to strum on the same old six-string chords of love, I’ll ruin the suspense: it’s not about dating. (Editor’s note: we’re aware that about half our readers just exited the page and logged back into Facebook.)

However, there is a slightly new and upcoming trend – and perhaps I’m just seeing it for the first time, perhaps it comes with age, or whatever the case – to revolt from that pattern and declare independence.

While the number is still few compared to those who are dying to date and get married, and after all, it is (ring by) spring time, there is a faint scream from people who don’t want to get married, or at least claim they don’t want to date.

Though I tend to fall into the “hopeless romantic” spectrum of feelings, intellectually and selfishly I catapult back over to the “bachelor to the rapture” side of the conversation.

As I’ve wrestled through this conversation with quite a few people, these are generally the responses and reasoning behind staying single:

“Marriage just seems difficult, and come on, I can do more for the kingdom as a single loving Jesus.”

“I like having my friends and freedom – marriage seems like an old ball and chain.”

“I’ve kept my standards and lived up to them – most people haven’t – so I don’t think I can ever find someone who can live up to the same standard.”

“I dated seriously, it didn’t work out, and it really hurt. Why go through that again when I have Jesus?”

“Girls are confusing.”

“Men are confusing.”

“It would be a financial burden on me.”

The list goes on and on. The striking thing about these responses, is that it always start off with an I statement, usually about how good that individual is, followed by a they statement, explaining what a burden the other person would be.

While I’m going to attack this ideal of the word never, I want to be clear about something – it goes much farther than dating and marriage. How many of us have heard the following:

“I’m never going to be a missionary. Period.”

“I’ll never watch porn.”

“I’ll never have sex outside of marriage.”

“I’ll never get drunk.”

“I’ll never watch The Bachelor.” (Guilty.)

There are some fundamental root issues within “Never” statements that all relate to identity issues and sin issues in a person’s heart. I’ll cover a few.

1.     Pride: With all of these examples, the root of the sentence is all about the individual: Who I am, what I can do, where I will go, what I have done, my strengths, my abilities, my desires.

As I mentioned before, the justification of the reasoning is blamed on other:  Who they are, what they do, where they are going, what they have done, theirweaknesses, their faults, their (evil) desires.

These statements are usually said with a demeaning and condescending heart towards others.

2.     Insecurities/Worry: The second thing that jumps out about these “never” statements is the insecurities. Usually, after placing blame on someone or something else, they start to justify themselves by using excuses.

“I would be a pastor, but what about money?”

“I wouldn’t have gotten drunk, but I was tired.”

Ultimately, many of these “never” ideologies are really cover ups for fears and insecurities about the unknown. Sure, you actually do want to get married, but the fears of learning to be selfless, not knowing if you will be a good husband or wife, worrying that you will become another statistic, all lead you to the reactionary response of “I’m never getting married.”

           

You would go work for a nonprofit, you know that’s what God is calling you to, but ultimately $60,000 of debt is a lot of money and being in ministry won’t exactly pay it off quickly.

On the flip side, you could say, “I wanted to be a photographer, but I’ll never be as good as her” or “I wanted to be a business major, but I’m not as competitive or experienced as others!”

This is all simply worry and anxiety!

3.     Idol Worship: We sing a song at church that proclaims, “Turn from your statues and idols made of gold. Rise from your knees, stop worshipping, the splinters of broken gods, turn and see your King!”

I love that imagery because it’s first scriptural and second it addresses one of the very roots of our sinful nature. “Never” statements are really revelations about the idols in our heart.

We would do ________, but really, we love our situation or ourselves more. Move out of state for college? Sure, but my girlfriend can’t move with me. Go to seminary? Sure, but being a psychologist pays more. Give up Starbucks every day for a month and give that extra money to a couple in my community group? No thanks, coffee is what I need to get through the day.

Idols of people, idols of money, idols of “needs”, idols of self.

At the end of the day, idol worship leads to “Never” statements, because “Never” statements are about us – what we can or can’t be, what we will or will not do, what we want or don’t want, and not about Jesus. Idol worship is all about us, and trying to make the created greater than the creator.

So, as with everything, let’s look at Jesus and the Cross and see what the Bible has to say.

What Jesus says about pride:

In Luke 9, the disciples are arguing about who the greatest among them is. Sidenote, if you and your friends are ever wondering the same thing, it doesn’t really matter, because all of are terrible in light of Jesus.

Jesus’ response? “Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. For he who is least among you all is one who is great.” (9:46-48).

While I want to stray away from the topic of how becoming last doesn’t mean becoming some person hell-bent on making sure “he is the least of these,” I do want to point out Jesus is making this point to direct us towards Him and being servant hearts. In the majesty of who He is, we are all last. None of us compare. But, there is hope. By modeling our lives after His servant-hearted life, together, we can enter the Kingdom redeemed, justified, and in that sense, first!

Also see Mark 7:14-23 and Proverbs for more on pride – specifically Proverbs 16.

What Jesus says about insecurities and worry:

“Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” Matthew 6:25.

What I love about this passage is that it actually connects to idols – pleasures, image, and monetary items – but more on that in a minute. Jesus calls us to live in the here and now. I tell my football players that all the time, that we need to be, “right here, right now.”

If we start living parenthetically (Dr. Thoennes alert), we start missing things. If all we do is focus on Easter Break, we will miss Good Friday, some key notes in class, and probably start zoning out from our quality friendships. If we only focus on frozen yogurt, then we could miss the wonderful strawberries at The Caf. If all we do is focus on the resurrection, and not Jesus’ birth and humanity, we miss one of the most crucial parts of the gospel. If we only think about eternity, we will miss the opportunity to bring people to Christ to celebrate with us in eternity.

So, as Jesus says, stop! Continue to seek Jesus, expand the kingdom, and look to what He is calling you to right this very moment. If you’re a student, then study. If you’re a husband or wife, then don’t just be a good husband or wife, but flourish in doing so and make your spouse see Jesus in a deeper way. if you’re a barista, make the best latte for the worst customer for the glory of God. Get the point? Good.

What Jesus says about idols:

“And a ruler asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “…You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.’” And he said, “All these I have kept from my youth.” And Jesus heard this, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” But when he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich. (Luke 18:18-23).

Most pastors use this passage as way to show how difficult it is to give up money for Jesus. Yes, this is true. However, there is more. This man has an identity issue wrapped up in what he did, does, and can do. He is wealthy, probably respected, and he knows it.

His idol is himself.

Jesus calls us to lay down our idols, pick up our cross, and follow him (Luke 9:23). The earthly cost can be extremely painful.

For those that are well off, giving up a large portion of your income, shrinking down on your lifestyle, and doing it cheerfully can be hard. For those that are popular but don’t talk about Jesus to your friends because of losing their stature, then yes, being persecuted isn’t exactly a fun thing.

Picking up cross isn’t painless. Ask Jesus. But it’s worth the cost here on earth in order that we may hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

So instead of claiming that you need that Mocha Frap and a few hours of sleep instead of church, I challenge you to rethink your heart and your identity.

As my pastor once told me, we should be thankful Jesus didn’t look at the sun on the day of crucifixion and say, “You know what, I think I’ll pass on this. I could use some more time in the garden instead of this whole crucified thing.”

Jesus calls us to live sacrificially, not comfortably, he calls us to serve, not consume, and he calls us to flourish, not just live life contently.

So, instead of claiming you’ll be celibate, sober, rich, and comfortable, try to adapt to the idea that God calls us to uncomfortable situations in the least to stretch us, mold us, grow us, and help us flourish.

Stop claiming what you can do, and start proclaiming what Jesus has done, is doing, and will do.

To those who think marriage will be hard: Yes. Duh. No kidding. But after witnessing my parents and couples at church grow together, reflect Jesus to each other, and serve the Kingdom, it certainly can portray Jesus’ marriage to the church and to us in a new light.

To those who don’t want to go into ministry because you have debt will provide. Yeah, you’re going to have debt. Have faith too.

To those who think they have abilities, talents, and control: you don’t. Jesus does. We’re all warped and tainted – more like consumed – by our sinful and depraved nature. Jesus came to claim us from that.

Jesus redeems us. Jesus loves us. Jesus saves.

It’s all about Jesus.

Editors Note: For more on these subjects check out the following podcasts from Reality L.A and Solid Rock Church (Portland, Ore.).

Tim Chaddick, The Help We Need

John Mark Comer,  The Art of Yes + No

Solid Rock Church (Guest Pastor, Acts 29): Missional Living in Community

The purpose of this blog is to push people towards the cross, to see and seek Jesus more passionately, and to encourage people to push the Kingdom. For contact information, check out the links on the right.

Dear Rachel: Things You Now Know That I Wish I Had Told You

It’s been three years since my life and faith took a radical change. I’ve taken the last two years to write about the specific, personal events in my life leading up to the death of a classmate that would forever affect my views on life, death, and Jesus Christ.

I won’t take time to succumb to elicit details in this blog, because I don’t ever want her death to become something that is sanctioned off as a launching point for my life and forget the real story altogether. 

The story that unfolded on December 9, 2008 is about a girl with the brightest of smiles and the heartiest of laughs. It’s a story about a soul that was searching, and never got a fair chance at life from those who had it around her. This story is about Rachel Anne Daggett.

It’s taken three years, and I know Decembers will never be the same for me. Rachel’s life – and subsequent death – will always affect me. People tell me to grieve, that it’s okay to reconcile and move on, to heal, to let it go. I can never fully let go of it. It will be on my heart and chest forever. I’ll never let her story die away into the dusty attics of my mind, for fear that I will lose another chance at saving a girl like Rachel Daggett.

In all reality, I have come to admit that the grave reality of this story is that I will never see Rachel again – and that kills me. I can bury it in the back of my mind and heart, and try to live my life as if it didn’t happen, but I have taken the stance and assumption that my mistakes mitigated a chance for eternal hope for both of us – for her that she would spend her eternity with Christ, and for me, the hope that I will be reunited with all of those that I love for eternity, as we celebrate and praise God, His Son Jesus Christ, and worship together in the light of the Holy Spirit.

This is a letter inspired by a book I’m currently reading, Death by Love by Mark Driscoll, lead vision pastor of Mars Hill Church. My hope is that this letter reflects the harsh truth and offensiveness of the Gospel. It’s time for me to do this, in hopes that it can save someone or at least soften the walls of someone who doesn’t believe – someone, who like Rachel, is searching for something to fill the empty voids in their life.

This is a letter to Rachel.

Dear Rachel,

It isn’t easy to start this, and it certainly won’t be easy to hold no bars or shields as I try to reflect the truth and power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My utter desire will be to sugar coat this, to soften my stance, because Western Culture and Western Christianity doesn’t like the Truth – the Truth that sadly, you came to know after your life here on earth. 

I want you to know that I loved you, and that I will always love the girl I knew as Rachel Daggett. You inspire me daily, as I wake in the morning, as I attend Bible college – a place you would have liked and a place you would have had a ball poking fun at.

I also want you to know, that I spent the days and weeks following your death in despair. I had never felt heartbreak like that – heartbreak that was justified over the loss of a soul I feel responsible for holding in my hands. As I write this to you now, tears still sting my face. I still can’t go back to our old school Rachel – I tell people it’s because I don’t want to relive the glorious and malicious years of high school, but a bigger reason is that I can’t walk by the 400 Hall anymore, and I can’t walk by the classroom where your empty desk still shakes me to my soul.

Rachel, this letter is going to be about Jesus. Because everything in this life is all about Him, and I wish I had understood those implications when I sat next to you every Gold Day for Economics. This letter is going to be about the things you now know, that I wish you had known before you overdosed on oxycodone.

In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul writes to the church in Rome that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Now, I want to write to you about the glory of God, for I believe it is impossible to understand the weight of sin without first recognizing the holiness of the only true God.

God is the creator of the universe on which we often gaze at in amazement. After he created every star and planet and star that scientists are still working on discovering, He put His interests in creating humans that reflect His nature and beauty. 

In the garden, your father Adam and your mother Eve made a terrible mistake exchanging the perfect union with their Father with the lies of a serpent. When they realized their nakedness, they hid from God (Gen. 3:10). I think this at it’s core shows the greatness of God, that when stripped of everything we can put on the exterior, our very physical and metaphysical DNA requires us to feel as if we should hide from Him.

The glory of God is His radiance based on His attributes. God is holy, just, full of grace and mercy, loving, kindness, and a lot of other adjectives. In the end, He is the ultimate and only definition of good. As Psalm 19:1-4 proclaims, “The heavens are telling of the glory of God and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands; day to day pours forth speech, and night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words; their voice not heard. Their line has gone out through all the earth, and their utterances to the end of the world.”

To sum it up, God’s glory is stretched out to every expansive corner of our earth and every universe that He has created. 

God’s glory therefore, is manifested through His relational creatures – humans. As Isaiah 43:7 says, God created us for His glory. Before the fall, mankind was without blemish Rachel. We had no need for anything, we had no awareness for any voids in our soul because, when in perfect unison with our Creator God, we have no need for anything. But your father Adam and your mother Eve fell for the trap of sin, took a bite of the forbidden fruit, and now we, generations later, suffer the consequences and bear them together. This is called inherited sin.

What is sin? Sin in it’s simplest definition, is a separation from God and His glory. It is the only guaranteed thing to come with our birth into this world. It allows physical and exterior problems including disease, sickness, and blemishes on our faces. But it runs deeper as well.

Sin is also the root of why we have cravings to do drugs, smoke cigarettes, drink too much alcohol, have sex before we are joined together with another person in what should be holy matrimony, and all together leads us to a life of trying different sinful things to try and fill the sinful void in our lives. Without Jesus, the void of sin that stains and deteriorates our soul will never go away. It’s like trying to plug a hole in a pitcher with more water – it’s only going to leak more.

As I mentioned before, we are all sinners. Other verses solidify this. Isaiah 64:6 says that “We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags.” Nothing we do is ever righteous when it is accomplished away from Jesus.

However, there is more to sin then the decrepit state it leaves us in. There is a way for us to rid our sins from our souls, and be moved towards perfection and unison in Christ. You had probably often seen signs at sporting games or the bottom of Forever 21 bags that say, “John 3:16” – but never knew the truth behind that powerful reference.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life.” (ESV)

God loves you Rachel. He loved you while you struggled with drugs and substance abuse. He wanted to so desperately be united with you, He gave Jesus, His Son, as a gift of grace to come and be the propitiation (atonement) for your sins and mine, that if we choose to believe, we would be rescued from the perils of our sins and guaranteed an eternal living with Him in Heaven.

This is just the short version and glimpse of the Gospel I so badly wish I would have shared with you. You now have been in the mighty presence of God, at His throne at the time of your judgment. Because you did not choose Christ, God, being a just God, could not make an exception to you and had to sentence you to an eternal life away from Him in hell.

I always hear people joke about hell – from TV shows like Family Guy to the locker room back at Barlow High School. Perhaps you too joked that hell would not have been such a bad place – before I knew Jesus, I know I made that mistake. But now you know the realities of hell in a more powerful way than anyone on earth can know.

Rachel, I’m sorry. I wish I had told you. Sins are not to be split apart and judged on different levels, but my worst sin has been an act of omission. I had a duty to share with you the greatest saving grace and power you could have ever encountered, and instead, as I have admitted before, I was weak and did nothing for you.

I hope that those who still live on this earth, who abused substances with you, who still abuse substances, and who are still searching for anything to fill the void in their life will come to know Jesus. My prayer is that there are less failures and selfish individuals like myself who are willing to reach out strongly to people who are like you.

You will never be forgotten Rachel. That much is sure. 

My prayer is that you will always be remembered…and that when you are remembered, it will be a chance for the truth of the Gospel to be revealed. It’s what I know you desire for those who haven’t met Jesus yet.

So after I get home, when I’m far away from my school, when I’m off contract (which I’m obligated to say here), I will have a toast for you. I will sit by myself at the corner of a bar, and I will weep, and I will not care who looks at me or who thinks twice about it.

I will not forget you Rachel. I will make sure your story is heard loud and clear, offensively and full of blunt truth – the way you would have stood up for the truth of Jesus Christ if you had known before that fateful day.